Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner

                                        A Troubleman (1 man crew,) received a call from dispatch at 3:00 in the morning to address an outage caused by unknown circumstances. 

As he patrolled the lines in the dark, he had traced the source, and concluded that something had come in contact with the high voltage lines to cause the overhead equipment to behave that way. He concluded that a large bird had been the culprit.

Avian policies and procedures can vary depending on the area, but in home state of our Troubleman, the requirements are that the employee either rescue the injured raptor, or bag the dead bird and store it in the freezer to turn it over to the appropriate environmental services so they can poke at it in the name of science.

As he looked around in the grass for the culprit of the outage, he struggled to locate it until he heard rustling in the nearby brush. As he went into investigate, a raggedy, maggoty, pink-eyed varmint gave out an sharp unwelcoming hiss after licking it’s wormy little fingers. It made it obvious to the Troubleman that he was crashing the dinner party. After all, it was a luxury to have a hot meal every once in a while…

The possum was chewing on the owl who had been crisped to perfection by 16kV, of texture and consistency fit for even a Kentucky Colonel.

Startled by it all, the policy-abiding employee searched his truck for the best PTE (Possum Taming Equipment) he could find, while the pungent, greasy, scavenger crunched down on seared, protected wings.

The Troubleman came back and engaged in battle for the ages— a battle of Man vs. Beast, armed only with righteousness and a fiberglass hot stick. The fight continued for what seemed like hours, the Troubleman swinging his weapon wildly in the dark and connecting with the giant varmint.

The two creatures spit profanity and were evenly matched until the possum seized up in a questionable display of sportsmanship, allowing the Troubleman to seize the “prize.”


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